All That Frustration
by rhead-a-holyc
Summary: [Mythology!AU] Frustrated with how Knowledge and Luxury were behaving, the entities sent them into the mortal realm several times to solve their problems. Until the entities decided to join them...


When Knowledge and Luxury first met, it was with a murderous howl and a declaration of war the likes of which had never been seen before. Even Life and Death had never had a war quite like the one that had been waged between Knowledge and Luxury, and left it to the two to figure out how they wanted to resolve their problems.

Life trusted Knowledge not to take it the fighting too far, and Death trusted that Luxury would leave enough behind after the war, so the two left them to it. Perhaps because they knew better than to get in the middle of it, but the two weren't about to mention that.

It may have been Knowledge that had insulted Luxury's hair or Luxury insulting Knowledge's lack of anything but books, the exact beginning wasn't actually clear, but when Creation had finally had enough, he cast them into the mortal world with the hope that they would finally figure something out.

…oOo…

Even without their memories, Knowledge and Luxury had been at each other's throats, much to everyone else's amusement. Watching them argue over trivial things had become the highlight of the entities' existence.

"You're nothing more than a bloody peacock dressed as a human!" Knowledge shrieked at the now male Luxury, her voice reaching a pitch that was making everyone around them wince. "You behave like a woman! _You_ should be called _Queen_ instead of King!"

"You could do with taking care of yourself a little more, _King Kong_! You can't be having a book in your hand the entire day! Especially not one that looks older than you are!" Luxury's frustration with Knowledge was already extremely familiar with all of them, together with his whining.

Life let out a small laugh as Knowledge knocked Luxury out with said heavy book, while Death sighed, "I'm going to end up claiming him again, aren't I?"

…oOo…

Bored, the other entities had decided to join Knowledge and Luxury this time. There was little they had to do anyway. They were doing their jobs for as long as they existed, and they didn't have to put their entire souls in their mortal bodies anyway – that was what they had done to Knowledge and Luxury the first time and the human bodies had destroyed themselves before either were born.

Fate would stay behind and guide them, ensuring they crossed paths somewhere along their lives. Fate's plans were second only to Strategy's. Even Creation was joining them, something they hadn't expected from the usually stern entity, but they reckoned that even the stern ones needed a bit of fun now and again.

They all left one at a time. Creation first, then Death, then Chaos, and eventually, Life felt himself being pulled into the void.

…oOo…

"I'm strong because I know my weaknesses. That bloody ponce thinks he can make anyone adore him by swirling his hair around!" Hermione shrieked, "And his son isn't much better. Learning from the man already! You would think _anyone_ has more sense than that!"

Harry sighed, he should have listened to Ron when Ron told him that mentioning Lucius Malfoy's involvement in the whole Chamber of Secrets debacle was a bad idea. They had been forced to hold Hermione back when the older Malfoy had sneered down on her in Flourish and Blotts in the beginning of the year.

They simply didn't understand why the man got such a rise out of her. Harry knew that Hermione had never met Malfoy before, and Malfoy would never have lowered himself to visiting the muggle world with his open dislike of muggles. It really was frustrating.

They would have understood if it was Draco that incensed her that much. They came into contact with Draco every single day, and the boy certainly annoyed Ron and Harry but Hermione completely ignored Draco.

Who behaved and looked almost the same as the Malfoy Lord did.

They didn't think they would ever understand Hermione.

…oOo…

Voldemort had never thought he would ever see Lucius get as worked up as he did over a mudblood girl. There were so many other mudbloods that Lucius could have gotten frustrated with – that Lily Potter, for one, had been one of the most annoying mudbloods he had ever met, and yet there hadn't been even a word of annoyance against her.

"You don't think, he… likes this Granger, do you?"

Voldemort had heard Bellatrix whisper that to Narcissa one day, and the thought had been playing on his mind ever since. What if Lucius really did like this mudblood girl? It would certainly be a good reason for him to be thinking of the girl as often as he did (because Lucius had to _think_ of the girl, to be able to continuously complain about her).

"I require your son, Lucius."

"My son, my Lord?"

"Yes," Voldemort said, vaguely irritated at being questioned. "Now!"

If this worked, they would finally hear the end of Lucius's complaints.

…oOo…

Harry didn't understand how Malfoy had managed to convince him and Ron that this was a good idea, but the idea of getting Hermione to stop complaining about Lucius Malfoy was too good a possibility to pass up.

Even if it meant trusting Malfoy, and whoever he was working with, for a little while.

Harry only felt a little bad when he convinced Hermione that they were going to meet someone for Dumbledore, and that she would probably make a better impression on the person than they would. Ron also added the fact that they needed her to make sure that whoever it was wasn't just joining to get to Harry, and Hermione reluctantly agreed.

They left her in that room, promising to wait in the pub below for her to finish the meeting.

…oOo…

Voldemort didn't feel at all bad when he as good as threw Lucius through the door of the prearranged room in Hog's Head. Nor did he hold a shred of regret as he warded the door shut, only to open when they stopped arguing with each other.

Narcissa had looked incredibly relieved when told of the plan, as had Draco for that matter. Both were downstairs, waiting for the man to leave, just as Voldemort was certain that Potter and Weasley were. Voldemort didn't understand why they bothered, but he left them to it.

They were probably hoping that the two of them came back in one piece or something. Voldemort couldn't really say he cared, as long as Lucius never complained about that girl again.

…oOo…

"You?!"

"Don't worry, I'm not over the moon about seeing you either. I didn't plan this. Who would want to spend a moment more than necessary in your presence?" Hermione snarled, her wand out within seconds. She was going to curse Harry and Ron for this the minute she got out of here.

"Neither do I. I can smell your stink from all the way over here!" Lucius replied, turning up his nose while keeping a tight grip on his cane so that he wasn't unarmed.

"I'm sure Narcissa must have only been able to get _you_ out of the bathroom by cursing you!"

Lucius wasn't about to admit that, yes, Narcissa had been forced to do that on more than one occasion. Granger definitely didn't need to know that.

"I'm sure Potter and Weasley were forced to stun you to get _you_ out of the library."

Hermione wasn't about to admit that Lucius was right about that. Just as she was certain that she was right in her assumption of what Narcissa did whenever Lucius was in the bathroom.

"Why you-!"

…oOo…

Harry winced at the shudder that rocked through the building. He was pretty sure he knew which room that had come from. Perhaps putting those two in the same room to sort out their differences hadn't been the best idea. It sounded like a nuclear war was going on in there.

He hoped he saw Hermione again, preferably alive.

…oOo…

"So, when do you think we're going to be let out?" Hermione asked, panting as she lay on the bed facing the ceiling.

"No idea," Lucius replied from the couch across the room.

They had barely managed to pull themselves into relatively comfortable positions before exhaustion had managed to catch up with them. They had duelled for Merlin knows how long, and nothing had happened. Then they had tried putting all their magic into opening the door, but even that yielded no results.

"Were they really _that_ annoyed with us?" Hermione muttered, glaring at the door with what little energy she had left.

"I would guess so. My Lord was the one who dragged me here," Lucius said despondently.

Hermione gasped, "Harry, Ron, and Voldemort worked together to force us in this room? I'm surprised they didn't kill each other in the process…."

Lucius glared at her, "Is that _really_ what you're worried about? We could have killed each other! And your friends didn't care!"

"But we didn't," Hermione said, looking at Lucius curiously. "So, why were you going easy on me?"

Lucius spluttered, "What?!"

"I don't believe that Voldemort would accept an Inner Death Eater who is easily beaten by a Fifth Year student, which leads me to the conclusion that you were going easy on me," Hermione said, tiredness half-forgotten as her mind flew with the possibilities before freezing at what seemed like the most likely one.

With a determined expression, Hermione marched over to where Lucius was lying, causing him to sit up quickly, "You aren't going to kill me now, are you? I mean, we just survived all-"

Hermione kissed him briefly.

"-that," Lucius blinked as Hermione pulled away, before smirking as he recovered. "My, Hermione, where did you learn to kiss like _that_? I'm sure you don't learn _that_ from books…"

The door clicked open.

Hermione moved to leave, but she was tugged back into Lucius's arms.

"Don't think you're going to leave so easily after that little stunt," he grinned. "I think we can ignore that door for now. After all, it had been ignoring _us_ for so long…"

…oOo…

The entity Fate sighed, amused by the turn out of events. She couldn't have planned it better herself.

…oOo…

 **Written for Fanfiction World Adventures: Empire State Building [Mythology!AU, nuclear, "I am strong because I know my weaknesses.", Queen/King Kong]**

 **Written for Ultimate Hermione Competition: Hermione/Lucius**


End file.
